Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
