butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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