So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
