she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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