he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
should my penis look like a turkey
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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