It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
