guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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