you win again, gameday.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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