Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
