Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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