He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
