WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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