Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
