I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
