3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
