he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
