I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
