I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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