He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
