I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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