How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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