I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Bring me that man meat
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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