just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
