Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
