Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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