Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
