One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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