I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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