Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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