He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize