I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
