Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
