what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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