idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize