those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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