so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've blown a few things in my day
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
