New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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