He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
