I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
