I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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