why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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