dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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