at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
