If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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