have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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