He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
