I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
