Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
