I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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