I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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