I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
