Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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